viernes, 21 de octubre de 2016

Is it today?

 I was arriving from school to my house and I felt really tired because I had a very occupied week. So when I entered to my house I just told my mother to tell everyone not to bother and after that I went straight to my room. There I jumped into my bed and decided to take a nap. I turned on the air conditioner and fall asleep.
When I was completely asleep I began to dream about how my day was continuing. In my dream I woke up, made my stuff and had dinner. The dream was so believable that I made all the activities that I was supposed to make when I wake up. After a long time from sleeping I woke up and felt like if I had been sleeping for a very long time and I felt  weird.
I took my phone and after a while I realized that it was very late, but the thing was that I was confused, that the day had not finished, I thought that because I had dreamed that. So I opened fast the door of my room
and yelled to my mother “why didn’t you tell me it was late” and closed the door. I took a quic k bath and packed my cloth and went out of my room because I was supposed to meet my cousin at her house house for hanging out. My mother didn’t know what was going on so she ignored the situation and thought it was just one more teen drama.

When my mother saw my preoccupation and the bag that I was carrying she began to laugh and told me that I was confused about the day it was. But I didn’t understand. She asked me to check the date in my phone so I did it and in that moment I began to laugh too. The dream was so exactly to my daily routine and I was so tired that I felt I had slept for a whole day. That day at night it was hard for me to fall asleep again.
By.Valeria Marroquin

4 comentarios:

  1. Hi Valeria! I enjoyed your story. I've had a dream like that as well. I'll make a few comments on your writing, but take them positively and keep in mind I am no grammar expert.
    * I was arriving from school to my house and I felt really tired because I had a very occupied week. So when I entered to my house I just told my mother to tell everyone not to bother and after that I went straight to my room. There I jumped into my bed and decided to take a nap. I turned on the air conditioner and fall asleep.
    When I was completely asleep I began to dream about how my day was continuing. In my dream I woke up, made my stuff and had dinner. The dream was so believable that I made all the activities that I was supposed to make when I wake up. After a long time from sleeping I woke up and felt like if I had been sleeping for a very long time and I felt weird. I took my phone and after a while I realized that it was very late, but the thing was that I was confused, that the day had not finished, I thought that because I had dreamed that. So I opened fast the door of my room- (Here I would change a few things just to help the flow of the narrative.) I arrived at my house from school and I was very tired because I had a very busy week. So when I entered my house I asked my mother to tell everyone not to bother me and went straight to my room.I jumped into my bed and decided to take a nap. I turned on the air conditioner and fell asleep. When I was completely asleep I began to dream that my day was continuing. In my dream I woke up, cooked, and ate dinner. The dream was so believable that I did all the activities I was supposed to do when I woke up. After a while, I woke up and felt as if I had been sleeping for a very long time, I felt weird. I looked at my phone and after a while I realized that it was very late, but I was confused. The day was not over, I thought it was because I had dreamed it. So I quickly opened the door of my room
    *at her house house for hanging out.- at her house to hang out. *just one more teen drama.- just more teenage drama. * about the day it was.- about what day it was. *The dream was so exactly to my daily routine and I was so tired that I felt I had slept for a whole day. That day at night it was hard for me to fall asleep again.- The dream was so exact to my daily routine, and I had been so tired, that I thought I had slept for a whole day. That night it was hard for me to fall asleep again.
    A very good story. Thank you again. ~Fatima S.(University of South AL)

    ResponderEliminar
    Respuestas
    1. Hey Fatima! Thankyou for the time that you took for cheking my story. I´ll take into account all your suggestions. Thankyou again.

      Eliminar
  2. Valeria, I enjoyed your story! Your English is very nice! I am going to show you a sentence in your story that could be improved. What you wrote: "I took my phone and after a while I realized that it was very late, but the thing was that I was confused, that the day had not finished, I thought that because I had dreamed that."
    How I would write it: "I took my phone, and after awhile I realized it was very late. I was confused that the day had not finished. I thought that only because I had dreamed about it!"
    I hope that helps. Keep up the good work!
    -Hannah S. (Team 1: Univ. of South AL)

    ResponderEliminar
    Respuestas
    1. Hello Hannah, thankyou very much for all your comments! They will help me a lot. Take care bye!

      Eliminar