On October 8th I went to the airport because I was going on a trip to Florida. When I got the airport I was tired because I got up at 5:00 a.m. On the airplane I wanted to sleep so I slept for 2 hours. After that I got up and listened to music. When I arrived in Florida, I went to a hotel and I lay down in my bed because I was tired.
The next day I went to a ppv (pay per view) of WWE. I bought a pass to go backstage and met John Cena. I was so happy and I took a photo with him.
Later I met a lot of other wrestlers, but at the end I got to met one of the best wrestlers, Roman Reigns. I was excited. After that I met another good wrestler, but not the best, Seth Rollins.
After I met the wrestlers, I went to the gift shop to buy a championship belt. That was so good. I bought things for my family because they like the wrestling also. For my sister I bought a teddy, for my mother I bought accessories, and for my father I bought a shirt of his favorite wrestler.
Written by: Alexis Salinas
Hello Alexis! I liked your story a lot, and I'm a little jealous that you got to meet John Cena! I'm going to copy your story and paste it here with a few changes so you can see what I would do. Keep in mind I am not a grammar professional at all so take the critiques positively.
ResponderEliminarOn October 8th I went to the airport because I was going on a trip to Florida. When I got the airport I was tired because I got up at 5:00 a.m. On the airplane I wanted to sleep so I slept for 2 hours. After that I got up and listened to music. When I arrived in Florida, I went to a hotel and I lay down in my bed because I was tired.
The next day I went to a ppv (pay per view) of WWE. I bought a pass to go backstage and met John Cena. I was so happy and I took a photo with him.
Later I met a lot of other wrestlers, but at the end I got to met one of the best wrestlers, Roman Reigns. I was excited. After that I met another good wrestler, but not the best, Seth Rollins.
After I met the wrestlers, I went to the gift shop to buy a championship belt. That was so good. I bought things for my family because they like the wrestling also. For my sister I bought a teddy, for my mother I bought accessories, and for my father I bought a shirt of his favorite wrestler.
Did you go to Florida for any other reason than to see the wrestlers?
Great Job! Thank you!
-Fatima S (Team 1 Univ. of South AL)
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
EliminarEste comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
EliminarThank you for correcting my text, I will keep it in mind when I make another text.
EliminarHi Alexis! Your story sounds exciting! Going to a wrestling match and meeting famous wrestlers must have been fun! For your blog, I suggest that you work on your subject-verb agreement. Making sure that your subjects and verb agree in number and the tense they took place. Proof reading is a good way to go over your writing and check for any mistakes before you submit! Excellent work!
ResponderEliminarThank you, I will kepp i mind all the correction.
Eliminarhave a nice day!!
Alexis, I really enjoyed your story. I can't believe you met John Cena! Make sure you are paying close attention to the tenses of your verbs. Whether it be past, present, or future. Great job!
ResponderEliminar-Hannah S. (Team 1: Univ. of South AL)
thank you, I will keep in mind all the corrections, I need to improve in my writting.
Eliminar