My endless
love
Once I met a sweet guy
named Hector, I met him on December 23th he was really cute and I
liked him. The next day I said hi on Facebook and we started to talk, he was
really funny and really amazing to me, we talked every day. The first time I
went to the park with him I looked at him and that angel face was melting me
inside. I didn’t say anything because I was kind of shy. We talked about
nothing and everything, I didn’t even realize when he became my best friend. If
something happened to me he was there, if I wanted to laugh he was there, if
I was feeling down he was there, he was always there in the good and in the
bad, he was always supporting me and making me smile.
Once I went out of my
house to the park to go and talk with him. He was the cutest guy alive to me.
We went to the park several times to talk, laugh and spend time together. I was
feeling more than I expected to feel. One day I told him that I had a crush on
him and he told me he had too, I was the happiest girl on the planet. Time
flies and we fell so in love with each other, I mean true love.
He became my everything
and I couldn’t go a day without having him on my mind, I have loved him since
the day I met him.
Now we are married. We
have two beautiful kids, a girl and a boy. Gabriela, our beautiful girl, is
five years old and the cute Nicholas is 7 years old. We live in Canada. Hector
is now a pediatrician and I am a businesswoman.
I wouldn’t change
anything of my life, my family makes me happy and every single detail makes me
appreciate everything God has given to me. Every one of my babies has a piece
of my heart now and my love for them is an endless love.
Hello Ceci! I enjoyed your story. There are not many critiques I can give to you, but I'll try my best.
ResponderEliminarhe was really cute though, and I liked him- here you can leave out the word though as well as the ,
The first time I went to the park with him, I looked at him and that angel face was melting me inside, I didn’t say anything because I was kind of shy, we talked about nothing and everything,-The first time I went to the park with him I looked at him and that angel face melted me inside. I didn't say anything because I was kind of shy. We talked about nothing and everything. (I would just break up some of your sentences so they don't become run on sentences.
and the cute Nicholas-and cut Nicholas
of my life- in my life
Very good job! Thank you!
Fatima S (Team 1 Univ. of South Al)
Thanks for your critiques Fatima! I'll take them into account and thank you for your time too, I really appreciate it. I'll try my best to improve my story :)
EliminarYour blog is so sweet, it's so romantic! Overall your English is very good, you should just work on punctuation. Punctuation helps to keep your ideas flowing in a way that is easy for the reader to understand. It helps the reader know when to pause and when to connect ideas together.
ResponderEliminarHi Zach! Thanks, you made me happy with that comment about my English. I'll try to improve my punctuation and thanks for taking time to read my story. I'm glad you liked it! :)
EliminarCeci, such a wonderful story! Very impressive English as well! What I would suggest is to be careful with how many commas you put in one sentence. Too many may cause the sentence to run-on. Other than that, great job!
ResponderEliminar-Hannah S. (Team 1: Univ. of South AL)
Hi Hannah! Thank you so much, that comment about my English made me really happy. I'll try my best to improve my punction and thanks for taking your time for reading my story, I'm glad you liket it :)
Eliminar